She shrank into herself and into her mind keeping her eyes focused on the soapsuds and dishes. She hoped for peace as her eyes welled with tears. She hoped for safety as her hands shook. Maybe the storm of anger would burst in a fury and fizzle out quickly, unlikely though that seemed at the time. The mantra kept running through her head, "It'll be over soon, it'll be over soon, it'll be over soon." She just wanted to be invisible so he couldn't see her fear or tears. Tears always made the anger escalate though she didn't totally understand why.
Years later she would wonder if her tears made him feel guilty. If it turned a mirror to him. Made him remember his own childhood and realize that he had passed on his own nightmares to his little girl giving her a legacy of fear and distrust. She would wonder if that knowledge pained him. How could he be unaware of how people close to him dreaded his intensity and rage? She would wonder how it felt to be so consumed with fury and overcome by extreme emotions. She would wonder if that emotional demon inside him was the main reason he chose to die, and most of all, if there could have been a way to vanquish it before it was too late.